Le Bouche aime Le Douche

Abby says that it's my turn to contribute to the chronicles so I thought I might talk about face douching, also known as nasal rinsing, and to some of the wussier folks out there, the neti pot system. Now some of ya'll are gonna say, "Ew, that's gross, why would I want to go and douche my face?" Others might say, "I've tried douching my face and it just isn't my thing. I feel like I'm drowning." But I'm here to let you in on the amazing technology that is the facial douching system, and I think what all you naysayers are missing is the mind-body connection. It is by merit of the scientifically-proven placebo effect and the very important relationship, in which the brain believes in the power of the douche, that one can be cured of all ills with one simple tool. Remember, this is no ordinary tool - one is able to transfuse one's entire skull cavity with tepid briny water and thereby extract all manner of phlegm, mucilage and gooberesque entities from the nasal area. You will be amazed by the stuff that you'll find has been hiding up there. I mean, I've gone two rounds in a row with my nasal doucher and STILL removed all manner of globules from my interiors. And do you know what would happen without the face douching system? That's right, it all just stays there and harbors bacteria like an oyster gathering pearls of gelatinous scum that sits about fossilizing crusty kingdoms into eternity. Seriously, they're probably on their 467th round of monopoly up there.

So all I have to say is that next time you wanna go and rag on my favorite pastime you just go ahead and think about what good a little facial douching could do for you.